Work ethic kills fear

I’ve followed the device “Work ethic kills fear” for quite some time now, and proudly so. I’ve understood it intellectually, but not really felt it. Until today.

It’s a running gag in my family that when I go to shop, my mom will have to get on a call with me to take more than one question about what to buy. Not because the list is written in her handwriting, but because I’m afraid I’ll buy the wrong thing. So I call her.

That fear, of doing something wrong, has been with me for as long as I can remember. Especially in cases where it is in relation to other people, or when I do things for them.

Today at work, I was given quite some time alone to execute a quite unclear task. In that, I took contact with a sales representative that I’ve been in touch with before, and when my boss finally came around and I told him, he stared me down and was clearly stressed about it. Then he left again.

For about half an hour I had, on my scale, quite severe anxiety. It was hard for me to focus on the actual work, because I was so stressed about having done something wrong.

I did two things. I reminded myself about the inner Kanye in me, realising that my worth won’t change from making one mistake in this job. It’s not on me. That boosted my self worth.

Then I bent my head down and focused on another task for a while, getting back in to work. And it really helped, because all of a sudden, I wasn’t afraid anymore. It blew past, and I could finish the job I previously started.

Hard work forever pays.

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Caspian Almerud

Caspian Almerud

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