On not being intentional.

There’s a woman sitting just a couple of steps away from me in the café this afternoon. It’s raining cats and dogs outside, and people walk by crouched over with their umbrellas and hoodies doing their best to protect them from the water falling towards the ground.

The woman probably has some kind of what we would call a neurological disorder, and she seems stressed. Or it might just be that, her being stressed.

She’s flicking nervously on her phone, clicking all the tabs of Instagram in order, then refreshing her feed. Over and over again. Then going to Facebook doing the same thing, then to messenger to refresh, then back to Instagram. All of it in about ten seconds, obviously waiting for something to happen.

I’ve been there numerous times myself, flicking through all of my social media apps to get some comfort, to get some sort of validation, to see that I’m not alone in this world and to not have to think about things. Often as an escape and as a distraction from things that feel to real.

I’ve developed strategies not to fall in to that behaviour, and have failed at sticking to the strategies over and over again. But as it seems, when I stick to the strategies, such as not logging on to Facebook or Instagram in the Weekends, I feel better. I’m a lot happier when logging in again on Monday, I get more done and I get an opportunity to deal with all of the stuff surrounding me.

I’d like this to be a reminder to take the time you need to do something you love, or something you’ve never done before. To discover behaviours you practice and haven’t given thought before. To become aware and intentional.

I can’t speak for the woman sitting with me in the café this afternoon, nor for you, but for myself. The behaviours I practice are what shape my reality, and I’d like my reality to be as intentional as possible.