Money has been on my mind a lot lately.

I’ve had worries over money, in various degrees, for the past year and a half. It’s been quite stressful at times. I’ve had periods in which I didn’t know where I’d get money for rent. I’ve had 5 different sources of income in about 12 months. And to a large extent, I’ve been employing myself. From now on out, I’m the only one responsible for my own income.

It’s an interesting scare and stress factor, money. It’s so incredibly real and utterly abstract all at the same time. There’s nothing to touch yet all you touch is derived from money. Almost anything I’ve done in the past year has, in one way or another, had a connection to money.

I’ve never had money. At least i’ve never perceived myself as someone having money. I’ve had a job for most parts of the past 11–12 years, but I never learned the value of working, nor having money. My father tried, but I didn’t really listen to him when he went on about it.

I regret that now. Not learning early on what it means to have money, what it means not to have it. Some responsibility with finance.