The difference in acceptance and surrender.

I’m in some sort of rough patch right now, both mentally and physically. There’s a lot more that I’d like to do then I can. I’m feeling tired and overwhelmed almost all the time. I’m tending more to my negative thoughts then I’d really like to. And so on. It’s not been great to be in my head lately, to just put it that way.

Today, I made a breakthrough with a conversation I had, where we discussed fear. Saying that there are two different ways to relate to parts of us. Either we accept that they’re a part of us and surrender to it, or we accept it being a part of us, and make a conscious decision on how we want to handle it. In our conversation it was about how we handle the fear of our feelings. Either we say “I’m the sort of person who becomes aggressive when I’m angry” or we say “I’ve observed that I become aggressive when I’m angry. I’d like to change that.”.

I’m not surrendering to the rough patch. I don’t find myself a victim of it. I just accept that I’ll have to relocate my recourses for the time being, to handle things that would have been seamless otherwise. I’m making that decision.