Doing a lot means failing a lot

A couple of years ago, my confidence and sense of self worth was completely smashed by my employer. One of the corner stones of my identity was turned in to fairy dust by just a few words. He said I wasn’t a doer.

To give you some context, I’ve always taken great pride in being someone who has things to do. I’ve been in countless student associations, NGO:s and projects. Both started by myself and others.

It’s a big part of me, and it’s my way of being creative.

This boss in particular knew that, it’s part of why he hired me as his assistant. But he had a rough time economically, as well as mentally, and needed a reason to fire me. It just happened to be because I wasn’t a doer.

There are two important takeaways for me in that experience. Firstly, I’ve payed far more attention to my own opinions about myself than other peoples’. It doesn’t always turn out great, but I feel a lot better when it doesn’t if I’m blocking out every external voice.

The other thing I realised talking to a friend the other day, and we talked about being a doer. She said she wasn’t one, and I asked her what her Christmas gifts for her family were. She started listing things, all of which she’d made herself.

I stopped her halfway and told her that she really is someone who does things. She countered with saying that most of the things she tries to do fail, or never get made.

It’s the exact same thing for me. I’ve planned and thought out everything from food sharing programs to a week long conference on a ship.

Most of the things I think of, or even start on, never get finished. It’s because there are always other things to do as well. I’ve never been out of ideas. And I’ve almost never been out of will to do things.

In the process of doing, there’s going to be failure. There are going to be dips that just aren’t worth going through. Or crawl up from.

Doing a lot means failing a lot.